Thank you for breaking my heart

Sometimes in life we meet people who can shatter our hearts into a million tiny pieces but this is not about those people. It’s about how we go about reconstructing those pieces into something again. At one time I was broken, but I was content to be that way. Don’t ask me why I have no reasons but it wasn’t until something happened that made me realise that I was getting no where that I became discontent enough to make a change.

The fact I was unhappy, broken hearted and discontented was the reason why I was able to take the bits of me and put them back together into a way that was better than before.

Almost everything new in the world comes from this place of discontentment because if we were happy with the world is then why would we change anything? So first of all we have to learn to embrace the heartbreak because from the better things can come.

Living in a world where you don’t feel comfortable because all you see are the things that are wrong can be exhausting. But when we channel those feelings to something positive it can make it easier.

I was watching an interview with Annie Lennox a few days ago and she was asked why she had recorded an album of covers rather than new material. She replied that she was too happy and content to write at the moment and that writing comes from a darker place. When we feel happy and content it is the most wonderful place to be but it will rarely challenge you to do something different. Why upset the great status quo if you don’t need to?

This is not about trying to make you unhappy, it’s about saying that it’s ok to feel not ok as long as you channel that into something positive. I can’t imagine many new businesses have started because people felt that everything was great as it was any they were just going to copy what everyone else was doing. OK maybe some have but they are coming from a different place that usually has less noble reasons motives.

Some of the best art, innovations, technology have come from those people who were discontent with the way with were and challenged what we all knew to be true and said ‘hey have you thought about it this way instead’.

Of course this sits a spectrum that starts at mild discontent to total and utter despair and I’m not about to try and say that it’s the same for everyone sitting somewhere along that spectrum. But I think there is the capacity there for those feelings to be used to somehow help how we deal with it.

One of my greatest influences is photography Kirsty Mitchell who used the feelings of grief following the passing of her Mother to create some of the most beautiful images I have ever seen and I urge anyone who has never seen her work to do so immediately. Similarly the recent phenomenon that is #sharethehonestlove brought about by Laura Caudrey asking people to think about their relationships in a different way, that focussed on the roots of love and not the just the shiny baubles we attach to it.

I have been trying to write this post for a long time and never knew quite where it should fit and now I’m writing it it seems like a fitting epitaph for this blog as I sign out and go onto my new ventures. I have often thought about starting up this blog again as it’s easy for me to write like this but I am really pushing myself forward by doing that. I stopped pushing my love life forward when I got married and now I’m a stone heavier and very happy. But I don’t feel like I’m ready to stand still when it comes to myself and I don’t want to get creatively fat. So I’m taking steps into the unknown and setting my own business and I don’t need the Ranty Girl anymore to fill that creative gap I had a few years ago. So let’s all go and find all those beautiful things that hide in the darker places.

Finally I want to thank that person for breaking my heart because without it I would not have found out how much more love was inside.

from my broken heart

A 30 something rock chick?

This Saturday I turn cough34cough, a fact I’m not so much ashamed of as frustrated with. Getting older is pretty much the only thing you can guarantee on in life but how you carry yourself as you get older seems to become more of a conscious decision, the overwhelming opinion being that you need to grow old gracefully. Now if you were to ask me after a few drinks what I thought about this, I’d say it’s bollocks and you can be whoever you want to be at any age but in the cold hard light of sobriety I know that I wouldn’t do half the stuff now I did in my twenties and one of those things being how I dressed.

The Ranty Girl

Me at Uni (I still have the Punky Fish top)

Now when I was in my twenties I was a full on, New Rock wearing, rock chick with a wardrobe of PVC corsets, studded belts and ripped jeans. Pretty much everything I owned was black. But this look softened as I reached my late twenties and by 30 I was fully embracing vintage (the only problem, so was everyone else). But then 31 hit and thought I had to start dressing like a grown up and that’s when I found myself wandering into Next. Now don’t get me wrong Next is fine for work stuff and jeans but I was starting to buy casual clothes.

I was becoming………sensible and I’m really not sensible.

I then got pregnant (see evidence of not being sensible right there) which meant dressing up like a glorified tent for nine months and post baby, well it all went to shit. I don’t think I bought anything from the high street for a year. I pretty much felt excluded from most shops having written myself off as a frumpy mummy who couldn’t buy anything nice anymore because I was too old or it was going to end up covered in sick/snot/food/milk. I had pretty much resigned myself to a life in comfortable jeans and sensible tops. Now you metropolitan types probably won’t get this as in cities of tens or even hundreds of thousands it’s easy bit to stand out but in a small town anyone different stands out like a sore thumb. Especially when you live in city where you high street’s needed editions are Jack Wills and Joules (dullsville hello).

Anyway,I hope you can appreciate the depths of despair I had sunk to with my wardrobe of safe mummy clothes. So when I found myself in Topshop the other week I was as shocked as you probably are right now reading this. Now I’ll admit I felt really bloody old as most of the assistants looked like they probably hadn’t been born when I finished high school but I was feeling reckless. I haven’t been in Topshop for years so can you imagine my surprise when I actually found some clothes I liked, I know me the woman whose last purchase was a pair of elasticated waist maternity jeans. And you know what I actually bought a top and a skirt! I KNOW!!

The Ranty Girl

Looking good even if I do say so myself

So (rolls up sleeves) I’m going back to the High Street to put together my birthday wish list and you trendy, twenty something youngsters can step aside because I have a pushchair and I’m not afraid to use it.

The Rock Chick turned Rock Hen

Image 1 of ASOS ASTRONOMY Studded Leather Ankle BootsOh hi there sexy Studded boots ASOS

Gem Detachable Collar Dress

Love the vintage feel of this dress detachable collar dress  from Oasis

Crushed velvet skirt from Topshop this is so nineties and reminds me of my teenage years. love it!

I don’t know if I would be brave enough to wear Topshop playsuit this but I think it’s amazing and would look great with the studded boots dontcha think. (I want this so bad)

Amber Lace Sleeve Dress

OK I know I would not have an occasion to wear this Oasis dress but I want it, it’s like goth meets eighties power dressing. What’s not to adore?

Lace High Neck Top

For a more sensible option there is this lace high-neck top also from Oasis

Image 1 of ASOS Midi Skirt with Stitch Waist Detail 

Black mid-length skirt ASOS I’ve been seeing these mid-length skirts for a while and I really like them and for £28 you can guarantee this will be in my wardrobe before long

This black drop waisted dress from Warehouse has more than a touch of 1920s flapper about it 

How could I not have this sequin embellished horse jumper from French Connection, it has a horse in sequins on it for heavens sake!

Image 1 of TRANSPARENT PRINTED BLOUSE from Zara

Ripped jeans and roses from Zara, hell yeah

i

It’s black and has zips, need I say more?

But if I have to grow-up

I love Oasis dresses because they fit smaller ladies really well and they are just very chic and I’m not at all chic but sometimes I like to pretend

Lila Embellished Neck Dress

We have been watching Atlantis on BBC and I love the blue worn by the royals and this dress is almost the perfect shade

Fit and Flare Knit Dress

You just know this red dress is going to fit and flatter right? Right. Plus how amazingly perfect housewifey will I look on Christmas day in this little number

Poppie Dress

Ok the colours on this dress really wouldn’t work for me but do I look like a care? erm no (If you could see my face this would work so much better).

You will have noticed that there’s nothing from River Island because, well, I have no desire to look like Rihanna.

I’ve now got Cliff going round my head, Twitter you twat.

It’s so funny how we don’t talk anymore

Dear Twitter,

Remember when we first met, we used to talk for hours. We would laugh, share our hopes and dreams and we had all the same friends. Oh we had so much fun .

Where have those days gone?

Now when I try and talk to you all you do is ignore me and try and sell me stuff. I can’t remember a time now when you didn’t end a sentence with bit.ly…… We just don’t seem to be able to communicate anymore.

I wonder if we can ever get that old magic back, when I’d  say something funny and you’d lol and I’d lol and you would tell me something interesting and show me pictures of your cat. Remember?

Can we give it one more chance?

Twitter please remember that this is a two way street and not to use it as a billboard for all the shit on the internet and never actually engage with me. This is a desperate request because I’ve starting humming the tune to Cliff’s ‘It’s so funny how we don’t talk anymore’ and it’s only a matter of time before I break out into song and do you really want me singing Cliff at you? DO YOU? I will fucking do it.

Love

The Ranty Girl

Zombie

Really not sure how I’m supposed to function when child wakes me up at 4:45am (then goes back to sleep at 7am when I have to get up), I have to do a full days work and I have a medical condition that makes me feel like I’m sleep walking even if I’ve had a decent night’s sleep.

Oh and then I nearly crash the car on the way to work, probably because so knackered.

How do other people manage? I would really love it of you you share your coping secrets.

Random Fridays

This is a round up post that isn’t a round up post. It’s random

– Why do people say ‘it goes without saying’ and then say that thing that goes without saying?

– Do you ever wonder what you might have looked like in the eighties? I did.

The Ranty Girl

– Lots of people on Twitter moaning about missing Glastonbury but if you want to recreate the festival feeling, don’t sleep or wash for four days and start peeing in your garden.

– I have started to describe this blog to people who don’t know about it as a catalogue of reasons to drink wine, so on that note would like you to get together and drink wine with me and talk about blogging and stuff? Like in real life and shit in Birmingham, I promise no karaoke just booze and networking.

– Should I do a vlog rant so you can see how weird my voice gets when I get all ranty?

– Oh and lastly how freaking cute is this dress from My Vintage, it has minis and buttons and a Peter Pan collar, what’s not to love.

The Ranty Girl vintage dress

The Shopping Myth

Girls love shopping, we love to spend our free time happily skipping around the shops, trying on swishy dresses, swinging around our bags of beautiful things and laughing with our friends as we strut down the high street.  Yeah right, if we lived an advert for tampons. I have no idea where this idea about the carefree woman shopper came from but it’s all lies.

image sources pretty woman, sex and the city

We are all familiar with the shopping scene from Pretty Woman and her happy face as she kicks ass on Rodeo Drive, but in reality if we had a billionaire offering to buy us a wardrobe full of clothes you just know there wouldn’t be one thing, not one damn thing, you would like.

Shopping in real life is a largely  frustrating experience, exacerbated by retailers inability to size consistently, a lack of funds, friends who are thinner than you, males who act as if they are being subjected to some sort of torture because they can’t sit down every five minutes and children who don’t seem to realise you have to replace the snot encrusted clothes they ruin every now and again. And would it be too much to ask for shops to actually buy curtains that pull all the way across the changing room and don’t even get me started on those communal monstrosities, do I look like freaking hippy?

Shops are too hot, too cramped and littered with hazards. Random displays of shoes and handbags, clothes on the floor and other people’s shopping make me feel like I’m on Wipeout. And the worst, the absolute bollocking worst thing, piles of folded clothes, what are hangars just too uncool these days. What the crap am I meant to do with this pile of clothes you expect me to sort through and not actually move at the same time. Don’t think I can’t see you giving me the evil eye, as if to say ‘if you dare mess up that pile I will cut you’. Hangars, for the sanity of everyone the solution is hangars.

No wonder most people are resorting to online shopping these days, who needs to deal with actual people.

My shopping trips usually end up with me throwing a strop because clothes rarely fit me. I’m only 5’1″ and this makes shopping for trousers pretty much impossible, petites look like ankle swingers but regular lengths make me look like my mother is dressing me for the next three years of school. Dresses aren’t much better, having a larger chest means that my life is in search of a dress that doesn’t show my bra when I lift up my arms.  I end up standing at the entrances of dressing rooms asking my husband if I could get away with the dress if I didn’t lift my upper arms, he tells me its fine if I want to look like penguin. Yeah hun that was exactly the look I was going for. I still end up buying the stupid dress in the hope that it will magically change in the bag on the way home and then get pissed off when I get home and it still doesn’t fit.

Ladies can we please be honest and admit that shopping actually a huge pain in the ass we cannot find a pair of trouser to fit.

Fecking dinosaurs and other nonsense

The best wedding photo ever?

Ok so this week is has been proposed that this (look down) is the best wedding photo ever. I’m here to tell you why it isn’t.

dino

Huffington Post

This photo represents everything that is wrong with weddings at the moment. Weddings have become a spectacle that are more about trying to demonstrate how ‘quirky’ you are rather than about love and commitment. The rise of the ‘bloggable’ wedding has lead to brides desperately clambering for their fifteen minutes of fame by trying to desperately out do each other and prove they are the coolest bride on the block. Seriously dudes, you have to stop. I mean it just stop.

Look at the photo, just look at it. What the fuck is that about? What was their wedding theme, dinosaur massacre. I know so many romantic films end with couple and their closet friends and family getting ripped apart by a giant dinosaur, it just screams romance (over the screams of the maimed and dying obvs).

In their hurry to be ‘original’, non-traditional and the holy freaking grail ‘bloggable’ they seem to have forgotten about the wedding. You want to know what the best weddings are, the ones where the thought ‘bloggable’ never even crosses the couple’s mind. The people who only care about having their day, their way and to celebrate their love with the people who mean the most to them. Although I may have it entirely wrong and the dinosaur might be a dear family pet (if it, is it needs some serious behaviour training). Is this really how this couple want to remember this day, for me no matter what else went on that day it will be dwarfed by this stunt. You get a bit of notoriety and then bitches like me telling me you are ridiculous, is it worth it? I feel like I want to shake couples sometimes who seem to think you have to ‘throw out the rule book’ now, honestly you don’t, you take the traditional stuff and put a new and different twist on it (shameless plug) instead of going so far left field you don’t even have a wedding anymore you have a public spectacle.

Dignified departures

How do you know when someone’s relationship has hit the skids? Their Facebook posts increase tenfold.

First of all it’s song lyrics, then it moves on to ambiguous angry statements ‘some people are poison’ etc, then tagging everywhere they go (because you know they are just getting out and about and on with their lives), then pictures of any night out usually featuring plenty of members of the opposite sex, posting on said members of the opposite sexes wall some kind of innuendo, the posting ambiguous statements about their nights out ‘I can’t believe what I did last night, I’m so crazy’ , posting pictures of themselves with new hair/weightloss etc, finally changing their relationship status to single.

Facebook = how to look like a twat to everyone you ever meet on a night out and their mate.

Hanger debacle

When you’re rushing around shops trying to pick up a few bits and pieces, your husband is there tapping his foot and you just have to grab what ever is on the rails, yes that. Only to get home and realise the size on the hangar is not the size of the garment and you have had to suffer the indignity if trying on clothes that are two sizes too small before you realise your mistake. Honestly retailers what are you trying to do to me! I do not need reminding from you I am not a size 6 not am I ever likely to be so stop tricking me into buying these clothes with your mis-matched hangars. Honestly it’s like the trend, matchy matchy the hanger to the label.