Thank you for breaking my heart

Sometimes in life we meet people who can shatter our hearts into a million tiny pieces but this is not about those people. It’s about how we go about reconstructing those pieces into something again. At one time I was broken, but I was content to be that way. Don’t ask me why I have no reasons but it wasn’t until something happened that made me realise that I was getting no where that I became discontent enough to make a change.

The fact I was unhappy, broken hearted and discontented was the reason why I was able to take the bits of me and put them back together into a way that was better than before.

Almost everything new in the world comes from this place of discontentment because if we were happy with the world is then why would we change anything? So first of all we have to learn to embrace the heartbreak because from the better things can come.

Living in a world where you don’t feel comfortable because all you see are the things that are wrong can be exhausting. But when we channel those feelings to something positive it can make it easier.

I was watching an interview with Annie Lennox a few days ago and she was asked why she had recorded an album of covers rather than new material. She replied that she was too happy and content to write at the moment and that writing comes from a darker place. When we feel happy and content it is the most wonderful place to be but it will rarely challenge you to do something different. Why upset the great status quo if you don’t need to?

This is not about trying to make you unhappy, it’s about saying that it’s ok to feel not ok as long as you channel that into something positive. I can’t imagine many new businesses have started because people felt that everything was great as it was any they were just going to copy what everyone else was doing. OK maybe some have but they are coming from a different place that usually has less noble reasons motives.

Some of the best art, innovations, technology have come from those people who were discontent with the way with were and challenged what we all knew to be true and said ‘hey have you thought about it this way instead’.

Of course this sits a spectrum that starts at mild discontent to total and utter despair and I’m not about to try and say that it’s the same for everyone sitting somewhere along that spectrum. But I think there is the capacity there for those feelings to be used to somehow help how we deal with it.

One of my greatest influences is photography Kirsty Mitchell who used the feelings of grief following the passing of her Mother to create some of the most beautiful images I have ever seen and I urge anyone who has never seen her work to do so immediately. Similarly the recent phenomenon that is #sharethehonestlove brought about by Laura Caudrey asking people to think about their relationships in a different way, that focussed on the roots of love and not the just the shiny baubles we attach to it.

I have been trying to write this post for a long time and never knew quite where it should fit and now I’m writing it it seems like a fitting epitaph for this blog as I sign out and go onto my new ventures. I have often thought about starting up this blog again as it’s easy for me to write like this but I am really pushing myself forward by doing that. I stopped pushing my love life forward when I got married and now I’m a stone heavier and very happy. But I don’t feel like I’m ready to stand still when it comes to myself and I don’t want to get creatively fat. So I’m taking steps into the unknown and setting my own business and I don’t need the Ranty Girl anymore to fill that creative gap I had a few years ago. So let’s all go and find all those beautiful things that hide in the darker places.

Finally I want to thank that person for breaking my heart because without it I would not have found out how much more love was inside.

from my broken heart


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