The wine and cheese party

Erm has anyone ever noticed this country is being run by a bunch of out of touch prats? I mean do you think Davey ‘baby’ Cameron has ever taken a selfie.

Everyday they come out with some hair-brained idea (like banning packed lunches) whilst shelving good ideas plain packaging for cigarettes. When was the last time the contents kids lunchbox caused widespread cancer?

When the next elevator rolls around I really don’t think I will have anyone to vote for. I’m not a millionaire banker so that rules out the Tories, I’m not in the union so no to Labour and I’m not a spineless twat so Lib Dems are out. There really is no political party I feel has my interests at heart.

So I’m starting my own ‘the wine and cheese’ party. It’s a party that acts in the interests of people who like to drink wine, eat cheese and value common sense.

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If I’ve learnt anything from UKIP it’s the fact that I don’t need any actual policies just a natty dress sense and a bus. I can do that!

But I suppose I need some policy ideas so here goes
– wine and chocolate on prescription for PMT
– less tax on wine and cheese
– banning dress down days, only ever dress up!
– national cocktail party day
– emergency bank holidays for sunny days
– subsidised child care

Ok so we apparently have no money (but we have money for these twats to get an 11% payrise) so I’m bank rling these policies buy going after big businesses who don’t pay tax.

And if this means they don’t want to trade here anymore, then fuck off, I’d rather people bought their coffee from a local independent anyway.

Vote ranty!

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