there seem to be more guest rants than my own these days but I promise I’m working on some.
A guest rant for anyone who works or has worked in a shop- this is for you. Enjoy.
The world is full of idiots and nowhere is this clearer than working in a shop serving them. So, on the off chance there’s some idiots reading this, here’s a few tips to make mine and other people’s lives a heck of a lot easier:
When you go into a shop, don’t ask for one thing when you clearly mean another. A box set of books is just that, several books. Since when has a box set of anything contained one single thing? Silly me for thinking that was easy to understand.
Don’t point out the price on something and then ask ‘is that the price?’ Chances of me saying ‘no love, it’s actually free’ are a bit slim. Worse still, don’t physically turn your nose up when I reply ‘yes’ but buy it anyway. Clearly you don’t care that much about the price.
Now brace yourselves here, this one’s astounding. When you take a book off the shelf, putting it back in the same place is just as easy. There is no excuse at all for leaving it on top of all the other books you lazy swine. The same goes for when you’re looking at the books on the table. Is it really beyond your capabilities to put it back on the stack you got it from and not on the stack directly next to it? I mean I could understand if the covers of two completely different books were the same but we both know they’re not.
When you come in to a bookshop knowing you want a particular book it would help if you knew some useful detail about that book. Or do you seriously believe that when you say ‘well it’s got a blue cover’ we’re immediately going to go ‘oh yes I know just the one’? Do you have even the first clue how many books there are in this shop let alone in the world?! Or am I being silly in thinking it’s too much for us to remember the name of every single book and every single author that ever graced this planet? Try looking first instead of just walking in and straight up to an already very busy member of staff.
Oh and speaking of authors, don’t come to me with a name, insist that’s THE spelling and then be shocked when I find nothing on the system. Equally, when I try a different spelling and find the one you’re after, don’t stand there and go ‘oh yes that’s what I meant…’ No you didn’t.
Here’s a brilliant one. Don’t call us up knowing we’ve closed then, when we answer, ask us what we’re doing there when the shop’s closed. Genius. Also, when we’re stood there with the phone to our ear, we’re not just doing that for the good of our health, we’re actually doing something so please keep your cake hole shut and use some manners.
When you know what you’re looking for, and you know what genre it is, those signs above the shelves that say ‘fiction’, ‘history’, childrens’ etc. well, they’re not lying you know. Please don’t stand in front of fiction and ask me where you can find fiction. It makes you look like an ass.
And to end, please bear in mind, that just because I work in a shop that does not give you the right to treat me like crap or talk down to me. And when I do something for you like hunting for and finding a book, it’s good manners to say thank you. It’s not nearly as difficult as you make out.