We are sorry you were out

Christmas shopping can be a bloody nightmare and in an effort to escape the throngs of idiots that seem to pack our streets many people have chosen to do their shopping online. Just a few clicks and done, easy right? Well up until the point you find out which bunch of plonkers are going to be delivering it.

How many times have you sat at home all day waiting for a delivery, not going to the loo just in case they turn up.  Only to go to the front door and see that innocent piece of card that will very soon cause you to be a danger to anyone in punching distance.

‘we are sorry you weren’t in when we tried to deliver your parcel

YES I WAS!!!!!!!!!!

What do they use to knock the door with a feather? Do they think we are psychic and just know they are at the door. I mean FFS the person spec for a delivery driver is pretty based on 2 things.

1 the abilty to drive

2 knowing how to operate a door knocker

So no I shall not be using the internet for fear of becoming a proxy customer of shittylink or parcelfarce, the latter of which thought and appropriate safe place for a delivery was a neighbours bin but didn’t bother to inform they had out it there. Thanks wankers.

The only deliver service you can rely on at Christmas is Santa.


7 thoughts on “We are sorry you were out

  1. Lost count of how many times we’ve had this! And i go down and rant to the post office but the owner is a wet fish so i get nowhere! ARGH!!

  2. The absoulte worst ones in my experience are Home Delivery Network, who Amazon amongst others use – never even bother trying the door EVER. I was waiting at the bus stop outside ours the other day when I saw one saunter up to our front door and start filling out a card – I sprinted back and informed him I’d sign for the parcel. Turned out not to be for us but the couple upstairs but I’m still glad I did it as they’ve got no car and a small baby and the HDN depo is in the middle of bloody nowhere so they’d have been really stuck.

  3. Aghhh this is so annoying. In an attempt to get some extra wedding money i’ve taken a temp customer service advisor job for a delivery company and i’m totally shocked at how many drivers DONT DO THEIR JOBS! Customers call to complain and i have to say sorry and try to correct the problem and all i really want to say is ‘let me just get you the number of the useless pissing asswipe that decided that (delete as appropriate) the road was a useful place to leave your parcel/ hasn’t attempted delivery despite having the parcel a week/ has said they have left a card when they’ve not even visited your area today. Rant over and breathe…..

  4. Amazon’s delivery people…. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
    I HATE YOU!!
    Tried to deliver my order once, wasn’t in, left a card.
    Didnt wait for me to call, tried to deliver again, wasn’t in, left a card.
    Didn’t wait for me to call, tried to deliver, wasn’t in, left a card informing me my parcel had been returned to their depot.
    Got in, found all cards, drove forever to get to depot…… Only to be told the effing driver hadnt returned my effing parcel to to effing depot!!!

  5. This happened to me today!! Ordered present for in-laws from Achica-was supposed to arrive weeks ago but they are crap & have abysmal customer service. It was supposed to finally be delivered today by DPD (who are awful too) & we had a time slot when it was due only for it to pass & me to get an email saying no-one was in & we left a card. My husband was in you incompetent prats and you didn’t leave a fecking card either. To top it off neither Achica or DPD have a phone number. RAGE!

  6. ACK! The Amazon people!! They enter into our BACK garden through our back gate and leave parcels by our back door without EVER trying the front door. As we work from home – half the time we catch them skulking in to our back garden to do this and my husband tells them off. One time we even caught their delivery person putting a parcel into our greenhouse (in WINTER – cos ya know we go in there ALL THE TIME during winter). We have had to take to putting a sign up on our back gate that says that people entering our back gate without our consent will be treated as trespassers. We have even discussed getting a lock for the gate because the Gas reader dude likes to go into our back garden without knocking first as well. What the freeking hell?!? Its our back garden – get the F out.

    I won’t even begin to rant about being the parcel collection depot for our whole terrace just because we work from home- including one set of neighbours who like to let their dog crap all over the pavement in front of everyone’s house. SURE – I would LOVE to take a parcel for them. Maybe it is a cork for their dog’s sphincter. Pffft.

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