Pants (and other American inaccuracies)

Dear USA,

It has come to my attention that although you have been attempting to use the English language some things seem to have gotten lost in translation somewhere over the Atlantic. So I just wanted to clear a few things up.

These are pants


These are trousers


This a jelly

Lick your own bowl

This is jam

Eat Drink Chic

Missing U – you seem to have dropped some letters over here, let me pick them up for you and put them back in a few words……. colour, flavour, humour, neighbour, favour, savour, glamour, rumour….etc

Wiggly red lines – When I spell optimise, criticise, ostracise, politicise, capitalise, dramatise, modernise, organise, rationalise,it is most definitely spelt with ‘ise’ NOT ‘ize’.

If you have any confusion about how to use the language correctly we have rather handily written a whole book about it. It’s called the Oxford English Dictionary. One could call it a definitive guide.

Setting the language -One last thing, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AMERICAN ENGLISH, it’s just English from England, the clue is in the name. Microsoft, the default setting is always English UK don’t be knobs!


13 thoughts on “Pants (and other American inaccuracies)

  1. Just brilliant. there is nothing worse than incorrect spellings or the misuse of our beautiful language. I get very irritated with people who substitute ‘brought’ for ‘bought’ arrgh! I wish to smack them about the head with a dictionary… There are a multitude of other sins out there. Too many to list.

  2. If we’re going to get specific here:
    Picture #1: Technically underwear or undergarments. “Pants” much like our “panties” is both slang and regional.
    Picture #2: Those specifically are “trousers.” Trousers have a structured waistband with a defined closure. “Pants” are generally any other leg coverings without a structured waistband, like leggings or athletic clothing with an elastic or drawstring waistband. However, “pants” can be used a category classification in many countries (like Australia) and isn’t America-specific.
    Picture #3: Assuming that is jelly if it’s made out of the juice of a fruit.
    Picture #4: Assuming that is jam if it’s made using crushed fruit/fruit pulp.
    (Most Americans know the difference between jelly and jam. We don’t usually eat jelly or jam solo, we buy it (or make it) in jars as a spread. We use the terms loosely for the stuff that’s on the table in the jar that we need to put on our toast.)
    Missing U’s: The ‘missing u’ in many American English words actually reflects older spelling. The u’s were inserted later. Check your history, yo.
    Wiggly red lines: Noah Webster, a scholar and teacher, published his first dictionary of the English language in 1806, and in 1828 published the first edition of his “An American Dictionary.” Webster changed the spelling of many words in an attempt to make them more phonetic. Many of the differences between American English and other English variants originated in this way. Not sure if we can undo nearly 200 years of teaching because a “z” irritates you.
    Lastly, English in NOT from England. Angles (a GERMAN tribe) invaded first when they crossed the English Channel. Later two other groups (Saxons and Jutes) crossed over into Britain. The Saxons, Angles and Jutes mixed their different languages. The result is what is called Anglo-Saxon or Old English. Then you were invaded by the Vikings; enter their influence. Then your ass was kicked by William the Conqueror. These Normans spoke French. The mixture of French and Old English became Middle English (think “The Canterbury Tales”). Middle English became today’s Modern English.

    So there.

    American English exists, deal with it. Put on your big girl pants, get a sense of humour and try not to categorise Americans as illiterate sods.

  3. Is this directed at me? It’s not quite clear. I actually FOUND this little gem on Twitter via Cloggins and responded to it there AND here. Is that not allowed in blogging world? I’m jumping on you…not waiting for or wanting anyone else to. Do you think you are the one person with balls to express themselves? Hm. You might want to read a few more blogs. And expressing yourself publicly often times results in backlash. Of this fact I am most certain and well-experienced.

  4. My issue is with the term American English. English is a language that derives from the many and varied past of these isles and as far an most of us are concerned English is the language we natives speak and write.

    I wouldn’t mind if it was called American or Australian but calling it American English just irks me. Either have English as it is in England or just name the language after the place it has evolved.

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