It’s Saturday afternoon and your to do list is looking like a Greek epic. You are struggling up the High Street with half a dozen laden shopping bags and then it happens.

You see the teeth first set in an inane grin and they start to move into your path and your shopping is seriously hampering your ability to swerve. You are locked in their sights now, there are is no escape, you are just waiting now for…..

‘good afternoon madam, how are you today? Do you have a minute to talk about children/homeless/Africa/disabled hamsters/impoverished pigeons’.

Yes, you have been ‘charity workered’.  

No longer can you duck out of the way of the bucket rattler.  No, now they have high visibility jackets, clipboards and they want YOUR BANK DETAILS!

It’s bad enough that you have Stephen Tompkinson on every advert break trying to pull at your heart and purse strings, now you are assaulted on the High Street. No where is safe.

Now don’t get me wrong I’m happy to give to charity but it has to be on my terms. Once you sign up for these things, it will start at £2 a month but they keep on at you for more and more. It’s like an all out guilt tinted war on my money.

The kicker is that these people are getting commission! No people they are not raising funds out of some sense on altruism they are doing it for the money, money, money.

So dear student in with the clipboard, save your quite frankly laughable efforts to flirt for the student union and get the frick out of my way.


18 thoughts on “Charity

  1. Have you had the “Oh but look at how pretty your wedding ring is! You MUST be loaded”? Or perhaps the “You have children, right? So you could spare some of your child benefit, right? THINK OF THE CHILDREN!”

    I shit you not.

  2. I call them “chuggers” – charity muggers. 1 – why would I want to give my bank details to a perfect stranger who “claims” to be from a charity and 2 – why have they set out to annoy me and ruin my day.

    I never feel guilty for saying no and usually just storm past without saying anything. And if they do get me and say “surely you can spare a few pounds a month” my answer is “no, actually its a bloody recession, I haven’t had a pay rise in 2 years, my child care costs me more every month than the average person’s salary and my son needs a new pair of shoes what feels like 5 minutes, so NO, I can’t spare a few pounds for anyone”.

    I am in a very bad mood and the thought of chuggers is enough to make my blood boil…

  3. “Now don’t get me wrong I’m happy to give to charity but it has to be on my terms”
    Yes, that’s exactly what I do and I am perfectly happy that way. We would rather do a major detour around the street than be accosted by one of the ‘clipboard people’ (though they now seem to use a bloody iPad instead. How much money would that put in the charities coffers if they just stuck to a bloody clipboard?)

  4. I also hate chuggers who always come to my door when it always seems to be when we are eating…I always tell them, “I can’t talk as I am just having my dinner, they say “I’m so sorry for disturbing you, i just quickly wanted to tell you about our charity…” then proceeds to go on for at least 10 mins of trying to guilt you in sparing £5.00 (!) a week… I have to then politely tell them that I can’t & they try guilt you somemore…by the time I get rid of them which takes another 5 mins…my lovely food has gone cold….not happy!!

  5. just come across this blog its totally brilliant! I too can’t stand being pounced on by the charity mob and it always seems to be me that they target. I have been got many a time by the ones that knock on your door I hate it when they ask to come in to your home for 5 mins whilst they show you their literature I got fooled once by a guy who I then convinced myself that he was actually only asking to come in to try and kill me! he kept asking for a glass of water I got myself so worked up I pulled out one of the kitchen knives for protection. I was signed up to that bloody charity for two years!

  6. I got pounced on by a childrens charity blokey when I was a student at Chelmsford… I kept trying to interupt his ‘presentation’ to tell him ‘sorry I’m a student, not not much spare cash!’ and also that my parents are trustees of a charity which I already support and when I finally got to tell him this, he was so rude back to me, saying that surely I can spare a few jaegerbombs at the weekend to help out the poor children and that maybe I should change the focus of my charity efforts to theirs instead of supporting my parents!! I just started walking away and he practically chased me up the high street! I was embarrassed and quite offended, so rang the charity uip to let them know that the people they were employing weren’t doing them any favours and they didnt seem bothered either! Ooh thanks for letting me get that out of my system after all these years!!

  7. Have discovered your blog today and I LOVE it. But with regards to the matter at hand: I won’t answer my front door anymore unless I know we are expecting a visitor or a delivery for fear of chuggers. People tell me that is quite extreme but I just. can’t. face. them. This might be because they are also outside my place of work every single day of the week. OVER. IT.

  8. True story. There is a charity worker on our local high street and, bar a couple of days, she’s been there constantly for the past month. She bounds up to you being all cheery and always beginning with ‘hiya love can i blah blah blah….’ Anyway, after 5 attempts to corner me she has finally taken the hint that i’m not interested (the look on her face when she goes ‘hiya’ only to realise who she’s saying it to is priceless). But this is not a happy ending. I have an app on my phone which allows me to record myself whilst asleep (to prove i don’t talk in my slumber)…only for it to capture me mumbling ‘hiya love…bloody woman…told her 4 times…’


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