Irksome

Today’s minor irritations include

The man look – why are men seemingly incapable of using their eyes to find anything except questionable content on the internet. Boys, if you value you life (or at least your ability to reproduce) you better actually open that drawer and look for those keys, pen, shorts, remote etc before you risk life and limb asking me to do it for you.

Cyclists – no helmet, no lights, no insurance, no road tax, no licence,no indicators,  riding the wrong way up a one way street, through the red lights, hop on the pavement and you look at me like I’m a danger on the road.

Miserable bridal models – yes I can just imagine the bridal designers thought process ‘this year’s collection is inspired by the high divorce rate, you can tell by the model whose face looks like a smacked arse’. You are selling the dream of the happiest day of someone’s life, fucking SMILE.

Xmas lists – what I want for xmas;  A house, a car, a pair of Louboutins, a dress by Dana Bolton, a holiday, some Magpie Vintage jewellery. What people can afford to get me; something in the Boots 3 for 2 offer. So don’t ask me what I want for xmas, surprise me, a girl can never have enough body butter.

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14 thoughts on “Irksome

  1. Haha, I totally agree with you on the moody model front. The number of stroppy mares I’ve seen in bridal magazines is unreal-I honestly have no idea what the designers/retailers are thinking-I’m not aware of that many brides whose first choice for dress is ‘something that fills me with such unbridled rage that it makes me look like a sour faced bitch’…!

  2. S0 true. Especially the flipping bridal models. So don’t get it. Men -forget it! Their brains are not programmed to see things close to them -oh and they are lazy buggers. Cyclists-massive GRR 🙂

  3. Oh that sodding what do you want for Christmas/your birthday…. what I ‘want’ is never what you will buy and you know it.

    – I need new tyres on the car.
    – I am not giving you tyres for your birthday.
    – Well, I need tyres and that’s all I want at the moment
    – I am not buying you tyres for your birthday. (Proceeds to ask daughter what I want for my birthday and when she says tyres I get jewellery I will never wear).

  4. Great rant !
    Gald I am not the only one to be annoyed with cyclists . Can I add a further rant about cyclist please ? In Bristol they ride on the pavement going the wrong way at such a speed I have to jump in the road. No lights, helmets or bright clothing either . The council has added so many cycle ways but still they seem to need to ride on the pavement.
    Best wishes
    Jill

  5. Right the facts of stroppy bridal models.

    Wedding magazines can never book the best models bridal is at the bottom of the heap below Woman’s Weekly

    Some company owners – famously Forever Yours – style and shoot their own campaigns which is why they look like soft porn meets bridal – but without any of the good bits of that unholy alliance.

    Bridal campaigns have no budget

    Cheery looks cheesy too

    Then there are the over airbrushed – Pronovias anyone? Please measure the limb length to the head size and realise that the models are aliens from a planet of alternate gravity ot Mr P Shop has had a lot to do with the campaigns.

    Armpits should never be seen on bridal models and hands should rarely be on hips.

    Any campaign from a head office in Utah is likely to be seriously compromised from the start

    Quite a lot of wedding dresses would make me feel grumy too.

    Enigmatic, otherwordly and captivating is a rare and treasured moment in bridal advertising.

    I blame men photographers cos they can’t find enigmatic, otherworldly and captivating when they are shooting these campaigns in the same way they can’t find a passport, paper counterpart of their driving license or a specified supermarket product and come home with a shit replacement. For example Elmlea horridness of transfats instead of Creme Fraiche.

  6. Cyclists really annoy me, I totally agree with the above comments.

    The amount of times I have been walking on the pavement and nearly been nocked flying by one, seriously either choose the pavement or the road, I don’t want to be hit at speed, thank you!

    One time a cyclist tried to get to the front of a traffic Q by squeezing past all the cars (note they were not wearing a helmet) how cheeky and they got too close to a car in front and got knocked off??

    Rant over!

  7. Hold up there, I though you gals liked it when we ask where stuff is? We figured it showed us men who is really in charge of the house

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