Well done to Danny Boyle on a fantastic Olympic opening ceremony on Friday, after a shaky start (did think Peter Jackson was going to get up the next day and wonder where the fuck his set had gone) it was an absolute bloody triumph. But as usual there were people out to ruin it for everyone and surprise, surprise it was the Tory boy tweeters. Most infamously Aidan Burley MP who tweeted ‘Thank God the athletes have arrived! Now we can move on from leftie multi-cultural crap. Bring back red arrows, Shakespeare and the Stones!’ but I also spotted this (not an MP but according to his bio a maverick Tory) from Toby Young ‘I feel like I’ve just watched a £27 million Party Political Broadcast for the Labour Party’.
What a pair of tossers and just goes to prove how out of touch the Tories are. The fact that the nation was getting behind Danny Boyle’s vision of Britain, celebrating what is important to the people of this country (YES that includes the fucking NHS) and they we’re sat there berating it, only furthers my belief that the Tories have no idea about life in Britain today. I doubt we would have got the same sense of national pride if we had a bunch of bankers swing dancing and swigging champagne.
And the corporate sponsors; what a bunch of knobs you are. It’s a bloody disgrace that hundreds (if not thousands over the course of the games) of seats have lain empty because they were given to corporate sponsors who could even be arsed to turn up. The only positive thing is that these people are so bloody arrogant as to have been filing our TVs with you adverts proclaiming yourselves as Olympics sponsors so now I know who to avoid ever buying products from. Thank you, you tossers.
I was saddened, nay devastated at the news that The Voice UK has had to cancel it’s tour because of low ticket sales. I was also shocked to find out that the winner’s (I use the term loosely here) debut single failed to chart in the top 40.
Not only was a The Voice groundbreaking TV, the concept of hopeful young faces singing for four industry ‘professionals’ was truly revolutionary (rolls eyes) but they had an engaged audience who every week picked up a phone and PAID to vote to keep in their favourite act.
So I have to wonder what has happened to this audience? They liked these people enough to pay to vote for them week on week but when it came to supporting them in the real world they seem to have waned somewhat. Are people so easily manipulated by the media into acting in certain ways that they will pick up a phone and vote when told to but remove that stick and they just suddenly stand still and start looking round like livestock for their next set of instructions from the big glowing box in the corner?
And if this behaviour isn’t worrying enough these are the same mindless automatons that vote for the people who are actually in charge of the country.
In charge of the country, people!!
Not some talent show but the whole fate of the nation is in their easily manipulated hands. Is it just me who is terrified by this thought?
When I started this blog it didn’t really have any kind of structure and was just a load of random thoughts on a screen. I think now it seems to have developed some sort of formula of ‘daily rants’ like this and more themed rants or as I like to think of them ‘those things that age me most’. I’ve been accused of ranting all my life but I prefer to think of it as being passionate and a little tiny bit opinionated but not so much you notice. Anyway enough of this blah and on to the good stuff.
Liar, lair – Has anyone noticed if David Cameron has someone with a fire extinguisher following him around these days to put out the fires that must be constantly starting in his pants? This weeks flaming underwear moment came when he claimed that government polices had caused private rents to drop….. hang on David you must have missed the figures that came out which says that rents have continued to rise AGAIN. A public school education and he still can’t understand what it when the arrow goes up (another school leaver without basic maths skills, now we begin to understand why he’s never had a real job).
Skanks – yes you girls who go out in pajamas and ugg boots, you are skanky.
Meat guilt – if you want to eat meat that’s entirely up to you, I don’t eat meat and that’s up to me. Just because you have some underlying guilt about eating meat don’t take it out on me by trying to foist it on me. When people ask you why you don’t eat meat it’s ok to say that you don’t like it but if you say I don’t because I think it’s cruel then the meat eaters practically try and ram the stuff down your neck. If you feel bad about eating meat than come over to dark side, we have tofu.
Mad Men – This show is set in the 1960s NOT the 1950s. Please get this right when you are blogging, photoshooting etc or I will get angry.
The two things that have been mostly annoying me this week are:-
Literary decimation – the Charles Dickens classic novel is called ‘A Christmas Carol’ not ‘Scrooge’! What is it with film and TV types, do you actually pick up the book before you go and butcher it. DON’T even get me started on what they did to ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’
Same shirt different shelf – can somebody please explain to me how you can charge over £60 for a rugby shirt that has one design and all they have done is change the colour a couple of times? What exactly am you paying for? These shops don’t even provide hangers, everything’s folded up a bloody table and if you even look like you are going to unfold it the shop assistants are whipping their heads around in your direction giving you a look like they can read your credit history. And why do these shops always smell weird, it’s like the whole experience is designed to distract you from the fact you have just spent an obscene amount of money on something a 10 year old could have designed.
Ho ho ho……
After a hard day at work all I want to do is veg out in front of the TV but during December my enjoyment of the brain rot box is severely impaired by the amount of shite adverts on TV. I honestly cannot believe people get paid for coming up with this crap.
Perfume adverts – WTF are they about? Apparently you take pretty man/woman, put them in a situation that has nothing to do with perfume and have some voice over saying something vapid that is supposed to be (I guess) inspirational/aspirational. I’m sorry but what does Liv Tyler in a speedboat have to do with perfume, unless it smells like dirty river? And if you use some Diesel aftershave you’ll end up talking like a twat. That Chanel advert with the press conference, what’s that selling eau de sweaty journalist? Please stop the nonsense and maybe, just maybe think about telling us what the stuff smells like. It will be almost like your selling perfume.
Pampers, do you realise you ad campaign makes you sound like your holding vaccines hostage? Don’t buy our nappies and this kid won’t get this medicine. Fail.
Has anyone else noticed that the girl the Pandora adverts looks like she has been Tangoed? Some needs to shoot the make-up artists, she looks like shes been coated in a dusting of ginger nut biscuits.
You really expect us to believe that Cheryl Cole dyes her hair at home? Yeah right, why do these beauty adverts treat us like idiots. We also know that model with the anti-wrinkle cream is 21.
Finally, I do not want to see someones foot being shaved on TV. Puke.
Fringe rage – so I get a fringe cut and my husband hates it. I mean he is constantly moaning about this fringe. So I get it cut and now the damn thing is poking me in the eye. So I have sore eyes, red, bloodshot eyes and stupid looking hair.
Trolley rage – if you steal a trolley from a supermarket and dump it in the street, you are a chav.
Road rage – why do people buy fast cars and drive them like they are motor scooters? Either put your foot down or get out of my way jack ass.
Twitter rage – wondering why I follow people who are annoying/spammy/rude etc. Then realised that my twitter feed is a dictatorship and not a democracy and that what the unfollow button is there for.
X-factor rage- it’s just the most stupid show in the world. Ever!