Sleep deprivation

There is nothing worse for someone of an already grumpy disposition, than that person only having 3 hours sleep and for all of that sleep to have occurred before 1am.  Needless to say today I’m like proverbial bear with the sore head, only poke that bear with a stick a few times and you might be somewhere near my mood today.

But what makes it worse is as soon as you tell people you haven’t slept they start reeling off a myriad of things you should have done to get to sleep.

Why didn’t you -

Have a bath

Having a hot milky drink

Use some lavender oil

Read a book

Yeah thanks for that where were you and your great suggestions at 3am this morning. Plus coming from an habitual insomniac, they are all, as Sheldon Cooper would say, hokum.

Why do people have this incessant need to ‘fix’ you all the time. Sometimes all we want is just someone to be understanding and make us a cup of tea (and maybe chuck in a biscuit as I’ve been up all night and I need the sugar).

So I shall now drag my unwilling body through the rest of the day and urge people to keep their comments, proposals and suggestions about my condition to a minimum and just put the kettle on.

Ta

Being happy

Yes, me, Little Miss Ranty Pants is going to be talking about happiness. This is not a joke, I’m honestly a happy person I just have a very limited tolerance for bullshit. Which is probably a good thing, as I can at least see the funny side of the world’s crap rather than just being a real life Victor Meldrew ( I would look crap in a flat cap).

I recently discovered Gala Darling‘s blog (yeah I know late to the party as usual) and reading about her self-love philosophy that helped her to transform from a ‘misery guts’ to the positive person she is today rang true to a similar experience I had a few years ago.

Source 

Earlier today I heard someone say they believed you were either born happy or not, I strongly disagree with this and truly believe that you are the creator of your own happiness, it’s all about attitude.

For a long time I was miserable, nothing could make me happy and I was never content. I used to deliberately sabotage the good things in my life as I could handle the bad stuff so much better than I could handle the good stuff. It got to a point where I felt like I was actively seeking out bad things just to perpetuate this cycle of misery. I would listen to sad songs, dress only in black, get involved with the wrong kind of bloke and keep myself from family and friends. I felt like my life was a competition where I was always looking into the other lanes and seeing everyone else flying ahead of me so I just gave up and sat in my lane and wallowed in my own bad luck.

But as often happens I had a series of life altering events all happen in a very short space of time which had the effect of me having to look really seriously at the damage I was causing myself. I had spent so long 1) focusing on other people’s happiness and 2) expecting other people to make me happy, I had totally lost all responsibility over my own life. At one point I had basically given all the power of my happiness to one person and when they let me down spectacularly I was essentially left with a blank canvas.

I finally had to realise that the only person who could make me happy was me and this was something of a serious attitude adjustment. I had to stop looking at other people and trying to have what they had and work out what it was that made me happy, however trivial and insignificant these things may be.

The media is lying to you, all these films, books and TV shows with the lonely central character who is finally saved from their sad existence Mr or Miss Right is just bollocks. The locus of your happiness can never sit somewhere outside of your own skin.

There is nothing more destructive than saying ‘I’ll’ be happy when……..’ when you have  more money, a new job, a new partner, a family, go on that trip, buy that pair of shoes, because you know what – you won’t. The ‘things’ that you think will make you happy will never make you happy until you can be happy with what you have now. You need to be able to look around you and appreciate what you have instead of looking at what that person over there has. It will only ever lead you to bitterness, jealousy and disappointment (and probably turn you into a troll).

Now I’m not claiming my life is a bed a roses, but I do feel content with what I have and if I stop feeling content then it’s up to me to do something about it. I have no time for people who blame everyone else for their problems and take no responsibility for their life. I know people who will NEVER be happy as they don’t accept that the bad things that happen to them are their responsibility and they are the only ones who can fix them.

If you want to be happy you have to make that decision to look really hard at yourself and find out what it is that makes you happy. Even if it’s the smallest thing, for me something as insignificant as knitting can make me happy, I’m  not even any good at it but when I’m sat there with my wool and needles I’m perfectly content. That my locus, that’s the starting point for me looking round at everything else and thinking, actually this isn’t bad at all. From there I can make changes, take chances and step out into the world as the mistress of my own happiness because I have that hook into my own happiness that has nothing to do with anyone or anything else.

Smile; people will wonder what you’re up to

Dear God; a letter of complaint

Dear God,

For years I have been under the impression that humans have been on a journey of evolution that has lasted a good few million years, however another school of thought has been brought to my attention by a group of people called ‘Creationists’ who now say that we were created a mere 6000 years ago by you in our current form. If this is the case then I would like to raise some design flaws I have found with you current model, in particular with the when it comes to using the gestation function.

I found that when I began to use the human gestation function there were some initial problems with the digestive process, in particular the sudden propensity to rapidly regurgitated any food items ingested. This is most inconvenient and would seem to be an error in the manufacturing process as I would think the ability to digest food would be a key element to the successful completion of the gestation function.

The second problem I have found is with the positioning of the baby inside the human body. Now I assume that as the creator you are acutely aware of the function of the bladder, so I can only think the decision to put a weight in excess of 7lbs on top of the bladder was some kind of oversight in your part. Connected with this issue is another fault I have discovered in that the larger the baby grows the smaller the stomach gets and I’ m not sure how I’m supposed to support two lives with a stomach the size of a gerbil.

Some engineering faults have also become apparent and the lower joints in the body seem to unable to cope with the excess weight, causing the carrier to be in extreme pain when using the gestation function for prolonged periods. It seems the current parts you are using to manufacture humans aren’t really up to the job are they?

Finally, I think you have made some calculation errors when creating the exit mechanism. When you were designing the size of the exit area in relation to the size of the object exiting I can only imagine you dropped the one somewhere, otherwise one can only deduce its some kind of deity design joke but after 6000 years the joke’s getting pretty old. I’m sure you must be aware of this issue as when trying to use this function most women will make loud and emphatic appeals to you, these are not to be confused with similarly worded appeals at the other end of the process, I can assure you the sentiment is entirely different.

I hope in raising these complaints with you you can see you way to resolving these issues as soon as possible as several millennia seems an excessively long Beta testing period, and although I have scanned the Bible for an updates schedule I have not been successful in finding your development plan.

I would appreciate a swift reply, if my rhododendron bursts into flames in the next few days I will take that as acknowledment of my correspondence.

Yours sincerely,

The Ranty Girl