So what gets on your tits (or man boobs)?
I wanna know if you have any ideas for future rants but can’t be arsed to write a post about it yourself.
Post a comment below and if I falls into the very big category of things that wind me up I may perform a bit of catharsis for you.
Normal service has now resumed with rants on the daily drudge and today we have a guest rant from the fabulous Mrs B all about the dreaded school run. Yep I know most of you are nodding already.
The School Run Rant
Yellow Liners – I walk to school (not every day I admit) but I live about twenty minutes away on foot and I’m in a fortunate position that I have time in the morning to enjoy a brisk stroll with my children. I understand there are parents that can’t afford this luxury and need to drive to school so they can then carry on to work but do me a favour, leave the house just ten minutes earlier and find somewhere legal to park. Who do you think you are, that makes it OK for you to abandon your oversized 4×4 on a double yellow line – MOVE ON!
Playground Politics – I don’t understand playground etiquette – one day I’m surrounded by other mums, all smiling and chatting and involving. The next day I’m a billy-no-mates – the huddle has moved on and I’m left to stare at my feet while I’m waiting for my children. I come to school to drop my children off, ensure they are safely within the care of the teacher and then leave. It’s the same at the other end of the day, I arrive, collect the same children and go home. I’m happy to smile and wave and share in the day’s weather news, but I don’t really want to know why you’re not talking to your husband, how many pounds you lost at slimming class this week or how much your mortgage costs. You wouldn’t choose to be my friend outside of school so please don’t pretend to be my friend so you care over-share personal information with me one day and blank me the next.
Voluntary Contributions – “Dear Parents, we are going to be taking ‘insert name here’ on a fabulous school outing to ‘insert local wartime monument/park/needle museum here’. We are asking ALL parents to provide a ‘voluntary contribution’ towards the trip….please note however that if we don’t get enough money to pay for the trip, we will be unable to take them”. “Dear school, thank you so much for creating opportunities for my ‘’insert name here’ to expand their learning. Oh and thanks for telling our children about the trip and lifting their hopes before asking us for the ‘voluntary contribution’ towards a trip that if we don’t cough up enough money towards, the children will have to go without.”
Well this whole Ranty Girl thing seems a bit popular, it’s now had in excess of 2000 views since it launched on Monday and for a new blog I don’t think that’s too bad. I’ve already had people asking to do guest rants and I’m happy to share the stage (unless its karaoke and then that microphone is mine, bitch) so here is the first one from Sharon.
Overpriced fashion spreads.
I don’t know about you but when I spend less than £2 on a weekly fashion magazine I’m buying it for a weekly dose of lifestyle, fashion & beauty advice. I’d like to see what beauty products they recommend that I can afford to buy myself, what nice recipes they’re featuring and maybe, just maybe, some clothes I might want to buy. What I don’t want is to look at a fashion spread featuring trousers that cost £7,000. That’s the point when I just flick past all those pages until I get to the make up section. I get the whole point of fashion being ‘aspirational’, but in this age of austerity shouldn’t publishers be promoting affordable fashion or ways to recreate the look at a 100th of the price? Yes I suppose some people who buy these magazines have a healthy disposable income but I’d hazard a guess that less than 1% of the readership can actually afford a £3,000 blouse. And I’d hope enough of those are intelligent women, with enough savvy to realise that no item of clothing (unless it’s say, an amazing wedding dress), is ever going to be worth more than a months rent!
Following on from the mascara rant, why are advertisers allowed to have ‘lash inserts’ featured in their mascara adverts? Ok, so they now have to tell us (which also, kind of insults our intelligence (and our eyes)), but isn’t that like someone advertising a mini but featuring a Porsche in the advert and adding into the small print ‘oh this isnt a mini, this is a Porsche-but it’s just so you can see how a mini could look if we totally lied to you). I cant think of any other product where you can get away with it so blatantly and it drives me flipping bonkers!
This washing liquid is our ‘ultimate’ formula. No it’s not, it’s just the best you can make at the moment. In 6 months time you’ll have discovered a better formulation-but what are you going to call that one eh? ‘More Ultimate’?! Just say it’s an improved formula-stop making out like it’s not going to get any better. Because we all know that it will be…